Today has been one of those days where I’m enclosed in my shell, refusing to make small talk. I know I shouldn’t get down on myself but its something we all go through differently.
I get like this because some days my stuttering becomes so severe, the constant fixing and changing this and that is just too much. Probably living in a mostly rainy state doesn’t help much. I still get the feeling that I’m unwanted. Relationships for me are like a curse, no matter how hard I try to give the girl all her desires, it just never seems to be enough and they just walk all over me. I guess it’s because I want to feel happy, or is it just fear of being alone? I don’t know.
To be honest stuttering has opened more doors to me then anything else. Sadly not many open their hearts to me, even though I’ve already have given them the key to mine.
Maybe someday I’ll find the one who will actually turn the key, but until then I’ll wait.