Zombie Hunt: The Rise of the Unicorn Zombie Apocalypse Squad

Unicorn Zombie Apocalypse

On Saturday me, Clonejill, Thanetos, and my dad went to this laser tag event center called Virtual Sports.

The first time I heard about this place was when a friend of mine posted on Facebook, “Scared the s*it out of some noobs, man it’s GREAT being a zombie! Plus I got paid!” I asked him in a Facebook message, “Where were you a zombie at man?” He replied, “Virtual Sports, look it up the place is dope!”

However my brain got distracted (as it often does) on another project, which was most likely either homework or Xbox. The next day I picked up the school newspaper as it was close to Halloween, and there on the front page reads, “ZOMBIE WARS: Fight to Save Seattle” after reading the article there was mention of COD Tactical Battles i.e. (team death match). I immediately showed it to my parents and my Dad got a coupon for me and three guests (two since my Dad was going), to do the once a month Zombie Hunt.

I gathered my squad and we went on our way there, where I had my mini camcorder (which I forgot to charge) ready to record us screaming like school girls…err I mean kicking zombie butt of course!

Our first decision was creating our accounts and deciding on a team name which if we come back there we can use during the tactical battles as well. As we were umming and ahhing, Clonejill picked the name of the fearsome four who will save the Starbucks and Top Pot donuts from the flesh-eating zombies. We were known from that moment forwards as, “Unicorn Zombie Apocalypse” our slogan was, “Get horned.”

We fueled up on sugary pop, since we aren’t old enough to consume adult beverages that were at the bar. As we waited preparing ourselves mentally and physically, letting the testosterone build all while talking smack to get each other revved up. We kept hearing gunfire followed by screams and shouts heard in “Downtown Seattle” we all looked at each other like what have we gotten ourselves into?

Our number was called after we waited for what seemed like forever, we went into the “Alpha” room and met with the commander as he debriefed us on gun-safety, rules, and the golden rule “walk through and enjoy the experience”. After the briefing we head out the door into the armory to get our weapons and armor, which were all replicas of the same used by the US military. The staff sergeant yells, “Let’s move boys, get in the fight!” We check our weapons and move out one by one down the corridor, into the hot zone.

Zombies Attack!

CloneJill and Thanetos stack up by the far wall as me and my Dad bring up the rear, then the zombie pops out and we immediately shoot lead “lasers” at the horrifying thing. The first taste of sweet victory coursed through us and we went off picking up the pace, turning into soldiers as we checked our corners for more flesh eaters. Zombies popped out of the shadows and windows scaring the poop out of us, we started to become separated as we moved forward. Now I realize that this occurrence foreshadowed the events to follow.

Gliding through the maze getting more and more on edge as we all became agitated, little did we know my Dad was actually doing the golden rule and was taking his time. We sweep through the last turn as we see the exit sign and freedom, then the horde came.

Clonejill comes running like a maniac bumping into me and Thanetos, unknown to us, he left my dad to be eaten by the zombies as they were surrounded. As the horde descended upon me and Thanetos we had no choice but to shoot every last bullet in them, all the while moving back to where my Dad was barely saving him from the ravenous beasts. Catching our breath as we exited the maze we take a group picture, forever remembering the events that we experienced. We went out to eat after we took our gear off and handed our guns back, we aren’t a usually talkative bunch but we were gagging away as we munched on burgers and fries.

When I got home I went to check my camera, turns out it died a few seconds into the battle. I was disappointed at first, then my Mom said, “It’s not about the videos that you make, it’s about the experiences you create and the memories with your friends and family”. Those wise words spoke truth, it didn’t matter that my camera died, I still had an awesome time! I did have a few stuttering episodes, but I didn’t allow it to ruin my evening. Team Unicorn Zombie Apocalypse survived the zombies, now we’ll see how we are in tactical against real players.

– James